Sabbath

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By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.  Genesis 2:2-3

My planner sits unused

Forlorn

Just a few short weeks ago

I looked at it multiple times a day

Planning ahead for what was to come that day

That week

That month

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Now all our plans are put on hold

And today I find myself remembering

Another time when a planner sat unused

Back to the days when Nathan was small

Completely dependent upon his mom to feed him

And care for him

How much I loved this little being with his chubby cheeks

But also how much I yearned for adult conversation

For the life of “significance” I felt I had left behind

When I left the classroom

I know how that sounds

After all there is nothing more significant than raising a child

I knew that then and know that now

But there has always been something in my spirit

A yearning for work

For doing and dreaming and strategizing

That made me yearn for a career as well as a home

Abby smiling Nathan looking to side

How often I had looked back later at that first year

Of being a mom

Of discovering who I was and who I wasn’t

And treasuring the infant who would become a boy who would become a man

In the blink of an eye

And wished I had just enjoyed the quiet time

It was only a year and then I was on to other things

Working at first from home

And later once again in a school

Always busy, always doing

Now, as many senior mommas would say, what I wouldn’t give

For a few more moments with that baby

When he was small enough to fall asleep on my shoulder

When I could comfort him with a kiss

When his worst pain was only a skinned knee

 

I lacked perspective then

That surely I should have now

This time will pass

One day it will only be a memory

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And whether it is short

Still hoping to be back to school by the end of April

Or whether it is long

Whether the losses are few or many

This time will pass

Life will go back to “normal”

Will I wish then that I had treasured this time more?

Will I wonder how it was I had only seen the curse

And somehow missed the blessing?

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The sorrow is still there

A missed prom

Dance competitions

Senior trip

So many moments up in the air

So many things still unknown

But isn’t that when we are most called to trust

In the One who provides our next breath

The One who is righteous and holy and whose very nature is GOOD

Isn’t this unknown the very time to trust Him most?

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All those things I was keeping neatly in my planner

Were never really mine

Not mine to control or manage

Their happening or not happening was always up to the Lord

Never up to me

In some ways this time has been

One massive

Reality check

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. James 4:13-14

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So today I will watch the small black bird

Pecking at worms in the back yard

I will take a full breath and let it out slowly

I will take my camera and capture some photos of whatever is here to see

I will make the man-child some cookies

And talk with him about his engineering project

I will invite my daughter to take a walk with me

Along the greenway

To listen to how she is doing

I will let my thoughts slow to match the pace

Of the world

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And I will pray

That something of this Sabbath time

Will follow me back into the busy world

Whenever the merry-go-round begins to spin again

That I might learn to step off

To watch the grass glistening in sunlight as the wind blows each blade

To marvel at the detailed texture of tree bark

To hear a bird crying high in the trees

To feel the wind on my face and wonder at the world God has made

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Yes, I was made to work

But I was also made for this

For rest

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On the seventh day God rested

Not because He needed to

But as the dove from heaven

Identified Jesus as the Christ

And he was baptized

Not because he needed baptism

But because he was showing us the way

May I rest this day in Him

In His goodness

And in the gift of time

He has given

 Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to be baptized by John. But John tried to deter him, saying, “I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me?”

Jesus replied, “Let it be so now; it is proper for us to do this to fulfill all righteousness.” Then John consented.

As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”  Matthew 3:13-17

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