The tall cottonwood tree

At the water’s edge

Its trunk a massive unmoving thing

Deeply grooved

Like an old man with wrinkles

His leaves and branches

Sway and twist around his solid trunk

Moved roughly by the strong wind

His smaller neighbor

is bent into the wind

gracefully

a dancer with a curved body

her costume of leaves

Swirling around her slender frame

I read not long ago

That trees need wind to become strong

They collapse without it

The tree grows “stress wood”

in response to wind

Its very cellulose and lignin

changed

enabling the tree to bend towards the light

or water

This stronger wood why they can survive

Even contorted in shapes that would make a house fall

Oh how the wind has buffeted this year

Making me question so much of what I thought I knew

Revealing broken and hollowed out places

Inside of me

Comfortable breezes giving way

to outright windstorms

I have lost leaves and branches

Blown away

As if they had never been

Leaving me broken and bent

Aware of my failures

A broken and bruised reed He will not break

I have clung to Him

leaning into the maelstrom

For only He can bring hope and healing

Could it be that these scars, the deep grooves

Have made me stronger?

Pushed me into the light of his grace?

That what felt like loss was truly rescue?

 

I don’t feel stronger

I feel broken and worn

But I long for righteousness

For his light to shine in every dark place in me

I turn towards the light

Towards the wind of His spirit